Monday, 22 October
Met up with Amira and Azra for dinner at some place. I forgot because I can. I can because I'm a human being.

Azra, Amira

Tuesday, 23 October
(HALO PEOPLE, I NEED PICTURES TO UPDATE MY BLOG LA SIA)

Happy 20th Birthday Chewyyyy!!!

Nats and Gladys asked me out for Din Tai Fung but I already had plans.

Met up with CT after work and then we headed down to Laselle for dinner at 15 Minutes. The food was really worth the price. But it wasn't up to standard. Kaiyi did the "I want to go toilet." trick, which was clearly the cue to get the cake and surprise the birthday girl. So it wasn't a surprise!

Wednesday, 24 October
Bought the tickets to Maldives! The bittersweet moment of leaving the country in a month. Leaving everyone, everything, for 3 months. A getaway from everything that makes me sad. And my happy pills as well.

Went to the The Central with mom at Manhattan Fish Market. Wth la, the mofo waiter actually gave my mom her change AND HE DIDN'T BUDGE. He just stood there so my mom was pressured to leave some tips for him. And he smirked after that. _|_ Rip my mom off her money again and I'll cut your dick off la stupid student trainee.

Thursday, 25 October
Met up with mom at Scott Square after work to have dinner at Delicious!

Unintentional shot of my eyecandy :3

Duck Confit Spaghettini

Spicy Crabmeat Linguine

Tiramisu (Pick Me Up)

Went to Cineleisure to catch Paranormal Activity 4 with zq. (private blog)

Friday, 26 October
This guy asked me out when I just woke up. Omg so I had to rush. He fetched me from home and we went to Marina Square for the fun of it.

He had to go to work so I went home since someone doesn't want to tell people about me. Okay so I dropped by a little later to visit my Trix!!

Watched Tai Chi Zero with the parents!

Saturday, 27 October
Mom cooked my sweet and sour fish! Okay I don't think that's very relevant. Well nothing really is. Oh and I dropped the iPad on my toe.

Sunday, 28 October
Can't believe I ended at 6pm because of the suite rooms and because of the Arab guests. I really wanted to break down when I saw how disastrous the rooms were. I even made up this guy's room and he found a condom lying there T_____T so I had to redo his whole room again because he moved out.

Met up with CT after work and we had dinner at Swensen's! Shared some Asian main course and Prawn and Fruit Salad plus our drinks because we were really hungry after work. Pool: if I lose, I had to WhatsApp him "Baby, what are you doing now?" and if she lost, she would have to treat me to....

Ole Ole~

Today
So upset that I woke up at 9am even though work has been draining me of all my energy. Plus the fact that I strained my ankle and the bruise caused by the iPad. So whatever, I went to school. SHOULD HAVE TAKEN A PICTURE OF ALL THEIR FACES! Hahahaha I still have them implanted in my mind; Faizs', Nats', Kittys', Gladys'.

And why the hell did he hug me like that so tightly. Like ahem, I am off limits. But no one knows (except the 8). Because I'm not just a free bird. I'm an effing phoenix. Like Moltres (a Pokemon). So happy to see the rest as well! Kaiyi, Sharon, Melizsa, Charles. Really great but short catch up with them though.

Went to IT Helpdesk and they said that I could do it through the phone. BITCH PLEASE! You said that I had to go down to have it done. Nb wasted my sleep.

Looked for Shafique hahaha I've missed this boy. Passed him his present and he passed me these! They're damn nice!! Haha can't believe he bought chocolate for me even after I've told him that I didn't like chocolates (which he found hard to believe). But this chocolate is really good.

Shafique x

Kaiyi ^^

Took 168 to my second home, Tampines for lunch with zq and then he had to go to work. Dinner with the family at Bali Thai @ I12 Katong before Raiyan gets enlisted to National Service tomorrow. HAHAHA I totally burst out laughing when I saw his shaved head. He looks like a monk omg. But still my handsome brother.

We l00k laike shite

Am I really happy. Or am I feigning it.

HAHAHAHA NATS

Been pretty pleased with my most recent update of songs from Laura Marling, The Wombats and The Vaccines.

Wednesday, 10 October
Facial with Limin. Then headed down to Portsdown for lunch at Laurent Bernard. Shall not rant about how I hate walking under the sun when I'm starving, for an hour.

Shepherd's Pie

Left: Molten Lava Cake w Vanilla i/c
Right: Chocolate Souffle w Raspberry i/c

Went home for my Skype interview with my learning manager at Maldives. Headed down to town for Derek's birthday celebration with CT, Derek and Kaiyi! Had dinner at Breeks, then we headed to Ion to surprise Derek with his long awaited Awfully Chocolate cake!

Then we joined Terrence and gang at Chinatown.

Sunday, 14 October
Met up with Karthik and Sheada at Scape for lunch at Scape. Then we watched Taken 2! Had a really great catch up session with them.

Looked for Atin for a little while at 313 Somerset's Cotton On! Then Zhiqiang reached so I had to part ways with all of them.

Had our dinner at Pastamania. I am the epitome of glam because I choked on my soup HAHAHA. And why did he carry me la walao

Monday, 15 October (private blog)
We left at 1:30am and I lied to my dad saying that I was celebrating a friends' birthday.

Tuesday, 16 October
Jogged.

Wednesday, 17 October
Went to the gym with Danial

Thursday, 18 October
Met up with Kitty and Nats at 313 Somerset's Marche for dinner. Food was so good! We had Cheese Pizza, Roasted Chicken Crepe and a savoury crepe with Movenpick ice-cream! Went to Shaw to catch The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. Good show.

Went to Starbucks at The Cathay because kitty had to do her Reflection Journal. Met up with zq after since he was at Orchard Central. Kitty actually waited for him to come pick me up so that she could see him. He was super qt cause he was wearing a shirt

Saturday, 20 October
Went to the University Fair with Limin and I have to admit that I almost broke down when the first booth we went to said that they didn't accept Republic Polytechnic's way of teaching and that we couldn't make it into a business school because of our hotel course.

But thank goodness that was the only university that said that. Can't wait to try out for University of Melbourne! The best business school in Australia, cut off point of 3.4.

Then met up with the other bridesmaids to get the stuff. I was really bloody cranky because I had to walk in my heavy Dr. Martens and I only had a brownie, cinnamon bun, rock melon and guava. And it was already 8pm. And it was raining.

Thank goodness I had an impromptu date with the parents at I12 Katong. Dinner at Bali Thai and then we watched Looper. Yay love them.

Today
Zq fetched me from home at around 12:30am and we went to East Coast Park. Accompanied him to study at McDonald's while I researched about universities. He said that my grade point average wasn't enough to get into a local university. He didn't even bother to say that in a more subtle way. And he said that I was fat too. HEN HAO.

I've been feeling really bad for having to lie to my parents when I'm out with him.

____
I am feeling bloody insecure being in this thing. He just picks on my flaws. Countless and countless of times. Like he makes me feel like I have never-ending flaws. He NEVER FAILS to come up with something new to bring me down. I just feel like crying. I hate it when people point out my flaws. I feel so small and ugly. And he won't take me seriously if I told him that I'm not comfortable with it.

On a side note, THE WOMBATS ARE SEX.

My blog, my escape.

She asked, "I don't know why he never asks me about you."

I don't know either. I honestly do not know. We used to be so close. It's like we're strangers now. I was looking at my saved messages and I saw his text saying that we've been close since Year 1 and somehow we just drifted. He's aware of it but he never did anything to save this friendship.

I cannot handle the tension when people leave me. I hate it when people leave me. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO JUST STAY. This time I'm leaving too. Even though every atom of my body misses the person I used to adore.


Other updates on my ever so self-dramatic life:
- I tried to schedule a day to meet WB but it didn't work out. I know I've never been a priority to him but it still hurts. I mean he was supposed to tell me if he was free on that day. But at 4pm, an hour before I got off work, I texted him.

- We're slowly drifting apart. I can't get through to you anymore. I don't mind that we don't text that often now. It has happened before. But this time, the conversations are getting so dry. Why.


I am definitely missing the wrong person for all the wrong reasons. Life has just been very very draining, trying to please everyone, dealing with my financial crisis. I know I can't have everything my way, I can't have everyone stay. There will always be someone leaving, one who has left. But why can't that happen. Is being happy such a rare occurrence.

I love you. Always have, always will.

x

Friday, 28 September
Offday offday offday. Met Gladys at Botanic Gardens where we walked aimlessly for about an hour. Finally found Food For Thought! The food's quite good and worth it.

Walked to Tanglin Mall for dessert at Brunetti!


Hahaha it was also the day that I created Instagram.

Saturday, 29 September 
Came home to a feast prepared by my mom. Red Velvet cupcakes, Cream Cheese tarts, fruit tarts, lamb shank, roast chicken, Chocolate Mud Pie, Carrot Cake etc. Relatives were there and all.

Sunday, 30 September
Zhiqiang fetched me from work. I was starving so we took the train to Plaza Singapura and had Pizza Hut for dinner! I made him eat my share. Fat fat. Went to arcade where he paid for all the games. Finally something different for a change. It's been so long since I've been to the arcade and it definitely made me feel nostalgic.

Went to The Cathay to slack at Starbucks. My treat this time.

Me: Eh the Starbucks guy quite cute. (He was Chinese)
ZQ: Oh so you like people who have the same skin colour as you.
Me: -______-

Monday, 1 October
Met up with Amelya after work! Had Breeks for dinner.

Chicken with Orange Sauce

Walked around Orchard Ion with our boots.



Tuesday, 2 October
Met up with Kitty at Cineleisure and we had Seoul Garden Hotpot for dinner because I was craving for it! Omg so yumz.

Me: I usually skip lunch at work.
Kitty: So it means you can flirt!
Me: Flirt.. do you mean 'fast'?

HAHAHAHA WTH

Watched The Possession and it was actually quite scary. I still get the jitters when I think about the frightening scenes. Oh there aren't any pictures oh man. Went to Bakerzin to get two slices of cakes for CZQ's birthday. Wanted to surprise him before twelve midnight. But he was out, so I had to tell him my plan because I had to explain why I didn't wish him since. Haha he was sad that I didn't wish him.

Wednesday, 3 October
Went to Scotts Square for dinner at Delicious.

Spicy Seafood Linguine
Spicy Crabmeat Linguine

It was really really really good and definitely worth the money. Especially the crabmeat one. This is what I call spicy. Spent a good 2 hours there.

Walked over to Mandarin Gallery to have dessert at Jones the Grocer! Spent another 2 hours there hehehe. Bought our favourite cookies for her!

Brownie Cheesecake
Strawberry Shortcake

Limin's dose of pellets

Finally surprised CZQ with the cakes.

Thursday, 4 October (PB)
Stayed up at Eunos until around 5am. Woke up 4 hours later to go to the hospital to get my results for my biopsy. No need for surgery.

Crashed for half an hour before leaving to meet CT and Kaiyi. Bought Derek's present which was a pair of Vans and a Nixon bag.

CT: Eh I bought a new bag (D's present), nice or not!
Derek: Okay lor. Why is it green.
CT: _|_ (to me)

HAHAHA last warning to Derek. So we changed the bag and got a dark blue one instead before giving his presents to him. It was really tiring. Dinner with Limin, Derek, Kaiyi and CT at Marche. Omg I never knew that the food was that good. It was my first time there! Then snooker.

Saw CZQ at the bus stop on the way home.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE GOT A GSHOCK WATCH FOR ME OHMYGOD. I'm not really suppose to disclose the identity of the person who got it for me. But that person doesn't get the credit that he/she deserves and I feel so bad. But I'm so very very very thankful I love you the end of the universe!!!

Friday, 5 October (private blog)
Thai food for dinner with CT and Derek at Far East Plaza. CT had to go back to work so Derek and I waited for 3 hours for her to end. Pool at POMO. MY FIRST TIME BEATING THE BOTH OF THEM. I  could have had the chance to stay at the table for my third round but due to time constraints, I let them play against each other.

Saturday, 6 October (private blog)
Officially the most unproductive, hence being the worst off day, ever. Woke up at 11am just for the wedding dance which started from 1pm and I left at 8pm because I couldn't take it anymore. It's not like the rest have to wake up at 6am the next day. They have plenty of time left to enjoy their Saturday. AND I DON'T.

So I decided to relief some frustration by playing pool. And this CZQ made me wait for 1 and a half hours for him. The only guy who has ever made me wait that long was Khai. And his record timing was like 2 hours, or 3 or 4. I forgot. I hate to wait. Won 2 out of 5 games because I am a pro. Hahahahaha as if. Got him to buy a lollipop for me for making me wait for so long.

Today
Dad fetched me from work and we went to Atin's house for her birthday celebration. Her mom's turn to prepare a feast! Steak, homemade garlic bread, baked salmon and clam chowder.

Like what is up with people who kill the conversation when I've typed so much. I don't care if you don't reply. Because I think it's better to leave it than have you be so ignorant to what I typed previously. Actually it's almost the same thing. But I get too lazy to reply at all sometimes too. So I'd rather you not reply me.

It's sad to know that I mean nothing to you when you meant the whole world to me once. There might still be times when I happen to care for you. You never understood me. Ever. Maybe I'm just too complex for you. When was the last time we even talked. I don't miss you. I'm disappointed and angry that you don't give a shit about me. Like our friendship never meant shit to you.

I'm never the one you turn to. I could never make you happy. That's what makes me sad. I miss how close we used to be. I let my feelings get in the way. As for you, you willingly allowed for other people to enter your life. People who could make you happy. I'm insignificant to you. Always am, always will be.

xx