Wednesday, January 30, 2013



Holy. Shit.

I just broke down for 10 minutes. It was so unexpected and sudden.

- Okay actually the main reason is: work

Had a briefing with my learning manager and Tiffany just now.

Points for me:" I talked to the Front Office managers and they said that you have very weak (the emphasis on this word was extremely exaggerated) product knowledge. I even tested you that time on the buggy ride, remember I asked questions? I agree with them. You have very weak (emphasis once again) product knowledge. They say that you don't ask enough questions. You just know about it when you have to know about it."

1) "you don't ask enough questions"- How am I supposed to ask questions when majority of the time, managers come out when they ask me to go to the jetty to wave and clap for the guests during their departures and arrivals respectively. Managers are never there to see me take down notes or ask questions at reception okay.

"And you failed your buggy ride terribly! You were supposed to turn around when you're talking to me! Z and T do that when they're talking to me on the buggies you know! You even crashed me in the bushes! I told the Program Committee (all the managers, directors and most importantly, the Resort Manager) about your buggy driving."

2) "supposed to turn around when you're talking"- How would I know. I wanted to. I had the choice of turning and risk getting warned for driving the buggy without looking at the road OR I could have turned my head slightly and focus on the road and get reprimanded for not facing the guests when interacting with them. WELL I CLEARLY HAD TO CHOOSE ONE OF THE ABOVE, WHICH I DID. I took the wrong risk. So be it.

3) "I told the Program Committee (all the managers, directors and most importantly, the Resort Manager) about your buggy driving."- You have got to be kidding me bro. I am just an intern. What is the point of telling the upper management about my reckless driving.

You have no idea how demoralising and degrading it is and how much worse it is when the other intern actually has a good point from the managers and you have none. You have no idea.

- A best friend who doesn't give a shit. (haha this is really ambiguous)

- A boyfriend whom I haven't heard from for quite some time.

When he asked what he did to make me sad (in reference to G telling him not to make me sad), I should have told him everything. Every single thing. "You don't care like you used to anymore. You said that you would never do anything to hurt me. You said that we would keep in contact every day. You wouldn't download Skype. You have never bothered initiating a call. You have never said that you missed me." And you still have the nerve to ask what you did to make me feel sad.

- The locals keep pestering me and I can't take it anymore. My good friend (not anymore), Jixxxx, has been WhatsApping me every single day and I'm so sick of it. I'm not even close to you, please give me some personal space.

An anonymous guy miraculously got my number and has been persistently texting me ever since even though I ignore him.

The Mexican guy thinks that it's a good idea to engage in coitus and is being a sensitive girl because I haven't been 'nice' to him since.

A guy I have been eye-fucking with every time we meet. It's like we have this love-hate relationship in real life and on social media and we're both playing each other to see who gets hurt more.

Locals who ask me to go out with them and talking to me on Facebook chat, messaging me, every single second of the day.

Worst part is 'having a boyfriend' doesn't hinder their persistence. Not a single one of them. Even the coitus guy.

- Got reprimanded by a manager for using my phone during break time. "You use your phone all the time. I should confiscate it." "I don't even use it during work." "Yeah but you're not allowed to bring it to work." "I don't even bring it to work all the time. I leave it in my room!" "No you don't! You always have it in your pocket!" LIKE YOU WOULD KNOW MY DEAR, LIKE YOU WOULD KNOW.

- I was pissed off by what happened above hence my reckless driving. My name was mentioned in the briefing for breaking 5 buggy rules, caught by the security guard. Letter was sent to Program Committee.

- Few days later, the Director of Engineering wasn't happy that I have been driving the buggy too fast. He has been giving me death glares ever since.

- A manager caught me for going to the cafeteria after gym. I cooled down until I was certain that I was sweat-free and stink-free. The people I ate with didn't even know that I went to the gym please.
On a  note, I realised that Limin has always been the one who has contacted me throughout my stay here (obviously with the exception of a few days). For 2 months, she survived dealing with my nonsense, be it good or bad. I honestly thought that Zhiqiang would be the one that I would contact every day. I was totally wrong. I don't know how she does it but yay.

10q to others for being there for me too.

Oh and to 'the best friend that doesn't give a shit', thanks for putting in the effort to keep the conversation going with the 'lol' and the 'hahaha' because you think that it is such a great statement for me to reply to.

Don't go all "Your life isn't as bad as one who has to deal with the arrest of a close one." Within a span of less than two weeks, I got involved with managers and the upper management. I can't take it anymore. A bad day is a bad period.

If anyone realises that I switched the word 'death' to 'arrest', huge kudos to you. l0l im srz

Summary:

Friday, January 18, 2013

Saturday, 13 January
12am-8am, graveyard shift.

Sunday, 14 January
Played Top 40 hits at the reception. Hahaha we are so not allowed to do that. Y accompanied me until around 4am and called reception to annoy me asshole.

Slept from 9am to 6:01pm!!!!!!! Eh wait that's only 9 hours and 1 minute. Okay no big deal then.

Monday, 15 January (private blog)
Funny guest story! But I can't blog about it so I will put it on my private blog!

Tuesday, 16 January
Ended work at around 8:20 and rushed back to the room to change to catch the 8:30am boat to Male. Went with Tiffany, Athens and George.

On the way there, the engine broke down. Hen hao. On the way back, the current was so strong that people puked. All of us were seasick. Double hen hao.



My buddy :)

George, Athens
 


Breakfast

Took the boat to...
 







Vilin Gili!!!




Chio tummy. Not.



I'm a princess ~





My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard











Dinner x

Local after-meal snack
Went to the drinking room to slack.

Thursday, 17 January
After our training, Tiffany and I went to the television room to catch Final Destination 4!!!!!

Today
So Tiffany's in the clinic resting because she got the stomach flu. Pretty scared that I've caught it from her. So now I'm bored. So bored that I'm searching for the album artwork for my songs.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Thursday, 27 December
Buggy Day 5

Friday, 28 December
Buggy Day 6

Saturday, 29 December
Front office.

Sunday, 30 December
Front office.

Monday, 31 December
After work, Ejanze and I dressed up and walked around the resort at night. New Year's Eve countdown was a bore to be honest.

Red 'carpet'












Yoko x







Tuesday, 1 January
Happy New Year! OFF DAY! Breakfast, gym, cat nap, bought kitty's present online, dinner then Kid's Club campfire! What a productive day ^^








Wednesday, 2 January
Ended work at 12am and went to Sunset at Bodu Huraa for supper with Zumbo and Anwar hehe my two favourite guys. Anwar always calls Zameer 'Zambo' which reminds me of Zumbo from Adriano Zumbo, hence my nickname for him. He's such a joker haha he told me he wasn't married and 5 minutes later, he told me that he loves his 2 daughters, asshole hahaha

Thursday, 3 January
SPOIL MOOD LA. WJ asked me during breakfast, "What were you doing at BH past midnight?". SUPPER LA! But no, I can't because it's with two guys. So I asked if I could go there for lunch, and he said no as well! Because other people would start creating rumours. How nice.

Friday, 4 January
Sunset with Abbas, Mufyd, Wisam, Hamid and Anwar for tea. Could go since it's a bigger group and the fact that there were managers.




Saturday, 5 January
Both Anwar and I were on the buggy and I was really really really craving for Kit Kat. So I told him. When we got back to the reception, he brought me to the tuck shop and bought Kit Kat and Redbull for me!!!!!!!! WHAT A SWEET TRAINER!!! Reminded me of the time when CT bought Hello Panda for me because I told her that I wanted it!

Rao, from Sunset Lounge, made strawberry milkshake for me! Went to the gym but Mr Director of Purchasing was there. On my favourite treadmill. Ugh hate that they allow guys to go to that gym now.

Sherina misses them :(

Sunday, 6 January
Athens and George, from In-Bungalow Dining (IBD) Service Bar, made mango and banana milkshakes for me! Wuv them wuv them to bits. Then Rao made Oreo milkshake for me!

Was so full from all the milkshakes and wanted to walk around but the gym (ugh Mr Director of Purchasing so annoying), television room and toilet were all occupied. Oh I go to the toilet downstairs because I am uncomfortable with the fact that the toilet in my room isn't exactly soundproof.

Monday, 7 January
Stupid Zumbo didn't want to talk to me just because I couldn't answer him when he asked for the operating hours of the resort outlets! Munadh gave me his buggy keys!! Bad day #1

Tuesday, 8 January
Told Anwar and Ejanze that Shiyaz doesn't seem to like me because he keeps picking on me. Ugh he never picks on Ejanze. And I know it's because he likes her and all but it's really unfair. So Anwar told S and he confronted me. Saying that he has to order me around because it's his responsibility what shit. Go order someone else la. Then Anwar was praising Ejanze because she could do the Room Move perfectly T__________T Ejanze isn't even his trainee, why he praise her.

I'm having so much difficulty in coping in Front Office. There are too many things to take note of, always on the beck on call of the guests, memorise the contact numbers. EVERYTHING. It makes me want to break down but no one can help me! I want to be better. I'm trying to push myself to be better in what I do. Bad day #2

Wednesday, 9 January
Butterscotch milkshake from Rao. It's the nicest one yet.

Thursday, 10 January
Babygirl Kitty Leong's birthday xx

Fish and Coral Garden Safari. Wah not nice at all. Water was so rough and bad clarity. And I don't like seeing fishes. I prefer looking at turtles and sharks.


Akram just removed his braces
Munadh








Dolphin Cruise! Only saw them for the last 5 minutes. Would say that my life is complete now but the dolphins weren't friendly that they so it's not counted.

General Manager's daughter, Stella





Got the permission to have drinks at Sunset Lounge to celebrate Ejanzes' farewell.



Ejanze's Zero Degree Champagne

Tiffany's

My Apple Tree




Friday, 11 January
Poor Ejanze cried at the jetty! And even at the airport hehe. I will miss her. I do miss her!

Today
Yoosuf has been entertaining me the whole day hahaha so bored.

There are way too many things for me to digest now.

- Just came up from dinner and I had a talk with George. He was saying that I was a pessimist. No one has ever said that to me before. I was so used to people telling me that I'm a very bubbly person, but those are people who don't know me. But then again, people who do, have never said that to me before.

He asked, "What's your purpose in life?". I didn't even have to think. I replied, "Death." He asked why. This is part where I'm unsure if I was just trying to cover up my impetuousness or not. "I feel that I don't deserve to live because my life could be given to someone more deserving. Like some cancer patient or something."

"Why don't you then?"
"Because I can't!"
"That's why! There's a reason why you're still alive! Whether it's a good or bad thing!"

___

He told me his story: He got into an accident at the age of 12. There was an explosion. His face and hand got burnt and it seems fine now. Just that there would be spots on his hands when he's in the sea. Um, not so sure about that though. Since then he's been taking sleeping pills and has the worse case of insomnia ever. He's such a light sleeper that when someone cracks their fingers at night, he can wake up omg. When he was young, he listened to metal to fall asleep. Now, 2 weeks ago, he stopped the pills. Drinking helps, he says.

- Who the hell am I to you. Am I even your friend anymore.

I've put in so much effort. Do I leave all that behind, or do I continue on. Because I swear this is draining my  life away.

"for once in my life, i felt like someone wasn’t going to give up on me and on us"

Starting to doubt that.