27 February, Monday

I received two calls. It's funny how I have nothing to talk to to the first one but can talk so freely to the second one.

Worked with Gen and Han Bin at 6:30pm hehe. Shu and Liting came when I was about to prepare for closing. Went home to wash up and get drinks for the chalet. I don't even need mixers, why do I need to pay ah. Nevermind.

Dad sent us and Limin, Chiew Ting etc were there. Walked along the coast with Limin, CT, kitty, Shu, Kaiyi, Jeremy and Charles. The stars were really pretty. Then went back and I don't even remember what we did because it was either watching television, people playing mahjong etc.

Kaiyi :>

28 February, TuesdayWoke up and found out that kitty didn't even sleep at all. Omg she was still playing mahjong. The guys (Marcus, Boon Yuen, Terence, Melvin, Kaiyi) taught us (Shu, me and Kitty) to play Texas Poker.

Kaiyi fried rice for us ^^ then they ordered pizza. Shu left early and then me and kitty went back to my place to wash up. She slept at my house first while I went to work. Hahaha she said that I was the husband and she, the wife.

I shall summarize this part. Kaiyi, Melvin and Charles came to find me and kitty at my workplace. I find it very creepy. Conclusion: My dad had to send us to the chalet since all five of us couldn't fit into one cab. Once again, really who's brilliant idea was it to bring the two bodyguards.

So played with waterbomb. They're so mean for making Kaiyi fill up the waterbombs. Failed ghost storytelling in the room. Scared people in the room too. Hahaha okay then I had to watch wrestling. Skipped dinner because they had Mc Delivery and my throat was hurting like a bitch.

Derek taught me how to play mahjong!

Today
Woke up at 9am. Helped Marc to clean up the place.

At the airport while waiting for Astons to be open! ^^

Kittycat and Kaiyi

Checked out and off to airport for lunch with kitty, Charles, Alex, Sean, Derek, Boon Yuen, Lee Chye, Terence, Melvin and Kaiyi. HEHE I TYPED THIS ACCORDING TO THE SEATING POSITION! I was in between kitty and Kaiyi! What good memory I have! Had Astons

Parted ways and kitty followed me home. So I couldn't remove my braces because I have a fever and sore throat so they said that if my gums were bleeding, I might get an infection. Made us wait in the waiting room for nothing.

Supposed to catch a movie with kitty at 5pm but we ended up sleeping from 3pm to around 6pm. Dinner then sent her to the bus stop.

OKAY SO I AM CURRENTLY DOWN WITH A FEVER AND TERRIBLE SORE THROAT. I need a rest! MY FREAKING SCHEDULE IS BEING A CUNT!!!!!!!!!!! SO PACKED WITH EVERYTHING!

7th February, Tuesday

I told Iggy about stuff. So I guess I only trust Gladys and him enough not to judge me. Or even if they do, they have their reasons which I can accept. It’s just hard for me to trust others for the time being.

So kitty accompanied me for my Swisshotel and Fairmont interview. Ms Su was there too and she left earlier than us. So when kitty and I were on the train to Ang Mo Kio, Ms. Su called kitty and kitty passed me the phone. So I somehow asked why she called and she said it was because she knew that I’d be disheartened if I didn’t get the scholarship. That was really sweet.

I’m not expecting much from this anyway because the others seemed more confident of themselves. I even screwed up my interviews by giving vague and cliche answers. I can’t do anything about it.

After such a long day, we met up with Shuyi and Sharon at Ang Mo Kio Hub to watch We Not Naughty. Then had a heart to heart talk with the girls at Macdonalds. I enjoyed their company a lot

9th February, Thursday

Briefing for Student Ambassadors. Then met up with kitty in school. Then met up with Amira at Tampines. We went to Coffee Bean at Century Square and Nizam works there!

10th February, Friday

Met up with Ya Xun at Ngee Ann Poly. I have concluded that my school’s students have more swag and are better looking. YX even agreed. We went to the Engineering block for a manhunt session but she totally fell asleep.

Saw Teck Yang there, my percussion senior from Ngee Ann Secondary School. Then we had lunch at Makan Place where we saw Shane. I was shocked that he remembered me. And we also stalked people on Facebook, real typical.

11 February, Saturday

I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose. Fire away, fire away. Shoot me down but I won’t fall. I am titanium.

I’ve had enough of bullshit affecting me. I have friends. I realised that I do have nothing to lose. Nothing at all. I’m still surviving.

Things will get better.

Limin came to look for me at work after her music lesson yay yay. She even had a bonding session with my parents and grandaunt and uncle. My parents gave her a challenge which was to make Raiyan laugh.

12 February, Sunday

Met up with Limin at Somerset for an impromptu meet up session. Forced her to follow me to Cold Stone Creamery. Tried the strawberry flavour and it isn’t as great as the one at my workplace.

Another impromptu decision to sing at Sembawang. So we started from 10pm to 1am and I stayed over at her house!

13 February, Monday

Went to the Macro UT Clinic. Then rushed off for work. Worked with Cheryl and Han Bin and Obolo staff gave us their meal in exchange for ice-cream again. This time they gave us french toast too! So nomz.

14 February, Tuesday

Met my babygirls Shu and Kitty to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Hehehe bought for them Famous Amos cookies. Kitty wrote us a card and Shu got us chocolates. Spent time studying at Scape.

Impromptu decision to crash Charles’s place since Limin, Yunice, Chiew Ting, Terrence, Lee Chye, Marc were there. Webcamming, dinner and singing at his really awesome house. He found it sad that I was having Fillet O Fish for dinner because apparently he stopped the rest from having McDonalds on Valentine’s Day, wah lame

15 February, Wednesday

Went to Sembawang and slept over at Limin’s house. Woke up in the afternoon and had bread and butter for lunch. Study spree and dinner too! Her mom cooked baked salmon, omelette and kangkong droolz.

16 February, Thursday

Declined the scholarship for Swisshotel Front Office.

17 February, Friday

Went to school, had my usual ice-cream waffle. Then met up with Limin to go for the UT clinic. Parted ways with Gladys, Fel, kitty and Iggy etc. to meet Limin for another unproductive study session. I caught her scratching her feet with my handwritten notes la please

18 February, Saturday

Rushed down to Limin’s house. Her mom cooks good curry. With slice fish and potatoes and onions. And vegetables dish with cauliflower! Bought Gong Cha for our late night study session.

19 February, Sunday

Things never stop for me. Woke up and revised for awhile before heading down to Yishun to meet Amira. She taught me and Limin Macroeconomics and we had Wendy’s for lunch. Started talking about religion haha.

Fel called and overheard the sound system in the train saying that the next stop is Bishan. So we decided to meet up at Junction 8. BOTH ENDED UP CRYING HAHAHA.

Took the train to Scape to meet Shu and kitty to study. Stayed over at kitty’s house ^^ SLEPT AT 3AM.

20 February, Monday

Woke up about 3 and a half hours later. After UT, Marble Slab ice-cream with kitty, Iggy and Gladys. Then kitty and I had no mood to study because there were no seats, plugs or wifi anywhere.

Ended up at Scape. Joined Shu and her friends and Kaiyi joined later. Ended up playing Dance Central while studying.

21 February, Tuesday

After UT, had lunch with Sharon, Gladys, Shu and kitty at Swensens. Kaiyi joined me, kitty and Shu down to Scape to slack. Played Dance Central on the kinect again. Khairil came at around 6pm and we only left at 7pm. Shu had dance though.

Went to Abercrombie and Fitch. Shit I cannot stand that place. It’s so ugly and dark and it reeks of the perfume. Finally headed down to Newton for dinner.

Newton Circus for dinner ^^ Love them hehehe I really had fun. Kangkong, Gong Gong, stingray, oyster omelette and surgarcane juice with lemon. Headed back to the mrt station and we started to sing and they planned to collect money from people HAHAHA. Headed down to Clarke Quay.

- We missed the stop because the guys were stalking my Facebook profile. They forgot my birthday :(

- Khai sang “I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU” in the elevator and the doors opened on the other side. Hahahaha this was the funniest moment because we were all waiting for the doors to open until kitty turned around and said, “Eh it’s the other side la!”

Finally reached Clarke Quay and sat by the riverside. Sang and recorded our voices. Hehehe thanks for everything today. I love you guys <3 all="" and="" eh="" k.="" kaiyi="" khai="" kitty="" p="">

22 February, Wednesday

After UT, took the same bus as Gladys to Tampines. She found out about my timeline. Something I haven't told anyone else because she's good at reading me so it's good that I don't have to say it out.

Went to my cousin's house first. Then dinner with parents and Atu and Atin at Downtown East's Hei Sushi! So much fats. Stayed over at their place and then the usual heart to heart talk.

23 February, Thursday

Woke up in the afternoon and did nothing at my cousin's place. Then work and Jarrett and Rachel were there. Really sad that they're all leaving soon.

24 February, Friday

Morning shift for work! Then off to Thompson for Prata House with Iggy, Nats, Jason, Shu and kitty. Really full and I can't believe I spent close to $8.50 there. Then Salted Caramel and the rest went home, leaving me, Shu and kitty.

Iggy forgot to take his watch home! Which reminds me, I want a G Shock watch. Homed and cousins were already there. Watched This is War and it's terrible! Spoiler alert. What a bad ending! The girl always chooses the bad guy and the good one always loses one way or another since he didn't get to sleep with the main actress and that the bad guy slept with the good guy's ex-wife. I mean the show was good but the ending, I haven't been able to get over it until now.

Cousins slept over at my place.

25 February, Saturday

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE! It was so much fun. Went with cousins (Huda, Ayuz, their parents, Atu, Atin, Iqal and Hidayat)! Took every roller coaster ride except Cyclon because I really cannot take 360 degree turns. I felt so freaking brave for taking Human.

1) Madagascar Carousel!
2) Water Rapids at Jurassic area, AWESOME! I specifically noticed the previous group who went and who was the driest. I chose her seat thinking that I wouldn't get wet and at the end of the ride, I ended up being the wettest.

3) Mummy Ride, AWESOME SHIT SHIT SHIT! I managed to pose for the picture too!

Before the ride, I asked someone to help us take a picture. After taking it, she saw my I ♥ Japan shirt and got so excited about it saying, "Japan?! I'm from Japan!" I smiled and nodded my head and turned to my cousins and said, "I don't know what to say!!!" Hahaha seriously I didn't know what to reply her.

4) Decided that I was not brave enough for Human or Cyclon.

5) Transformers ride. THE SHIT! ME AND ATU WERE SO LUCKY FOR TAKING THE FIRST ROW! IT WAS AHHHMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6) Aunt and uncle went home.

7) Water Rapids again and I was the second wettest!

8) Mummy Ride, I really wanted to take again but decided to take care of the bags so they can save $3 on the lockers ):

9) Mustered every ounce of courage to take Human. THE SHIT SO MANY DROPS ADRENALINE RUSH! I walked out and it was like I was walking on space, like I was floating.

10) Queued up for 80 minutes for Transformers ride. Bad choice because the small boy in front was like high on crack and kept telling us all the details. The woman at the back went all "OH MY GOD!" every second.

I ALSO MET AMIRA THERE. What a coincidence! My last ride was the Transformers ride and Amira and I just kept texting each other and there were also times when we met somewhere in the queue. I offered her friends Ritz and she pulled my hair. The difference in our methods of socialising.

Atu: I'm trying to look for someone who screams.
Me: Me too. Even the kids didn't scream. Okay okay wait let's see if this group screams.
...
Us: Nice. It's just us.

Dinner at the Chicken Rice Shop and it was really hard for me. Being a pescitarian for about 20 days, I ordered prawn wanton soup. I was definitely not full. I couldn't even enjoy drinking the soup because it had shredded chicken.

Fel: I believe that people will stay if they want to.
Me: Sometimes we have to put in the effort in order for them to stay.

Today

About to meet Limin now!

Old Airport Road for tauhuey, shopping in town and dinner at 313 Somerset, Food Republic.

It's funny. It's funny how I seem so normal chatting with people when I have tears streaming down my face right now.

I guess this pretty much sums up everything.

I need a break from everything. Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook. I just. Everything makes me want to cry. I'm on the verge of breaking down. I'll still reply my friends. Just not the 3 people who are making my life so miserable right now. I'll blog more about it on my private blog.

I have been pushing people away. People have been doing shit to me. I can't do this anymore. I can't be used. I refuse to be used. Chucked away when you have found another.

Not good enough. Never good enough. Be it looks or personality. There is always someone one out there better than me. I'm so sorry that I'm such a waste of space. I'm just so sorry.

I'm sorry that I thought you'd care. I forgot that you didn't. Not anymore.

Worse still, IIP1 people are leaving. They are leaving. I can't bear to face reality hence my angst for the past few days. Everything around me is falling apart. The worse part is that I am either making things worse for myself and everyone else or not doing anything at all by not caring.

Shit I feel so weak now.

2nd Feb, Thurs- Went to school for service lessons because we thought that there was going to be a buffet. We heard that it was cancelled so we decided to skip it. We later found out that the buffet's still going on. Hahahaha but too bad

Went to Woodlands Polyclinic to get our queue number then we slept there for about an hour. Got gastric flu at work.

3rd Feb, Fri- 2:00am in the morning, my parents sent me to the hospital because of my gastric flu. Bill totaled up to $128 and I felt so bad. 7:45am, I woke up for my 9:00am lesson. I only reached at 9:30am!

Crashed the other class's potluck session. Mr Al's brownies are to die for!!!

4th Feb, Sat- Woke up really early because I had to reach Woodlands Stadium at 7:00am. Just for Sports Day. It was really boring.

Lunch with Ruiyang and Fel at Long John's Silver at Causeway Point. Then left to Marsiling Community Centre to sing with Joreen, Kaiyi and Rui Yang! Kaiyi kept hiding the remote in Joreen's bag lololol

So when we left, the aunty chased after us because it turns out that someone put the remote control in my bag! I still don't know who did it

Work work work and Gladys visited me! I really feel that having late night chats with Gladys keeps me sane because I just bottle everything up for a couple of days and it feels so good to just let it all out. (private blog)

And she was going to treat me to Gong Cha so she asked what I wanted. I wanted the Strawberry Au Lait at first but felt that it was too pricey. So I just told her that I wanted Green Milk Tea. Later on, she asked me if I ordered that only because it was cheap and that I wanted her to save her money. OKAY HOW DID SHE KNOW. This is damn creepy la but I still love her.

5th Feb, Sun- Lohei dinner and AGM meeting with Shuyi and Fel! I really do not know what AGM means. It was quite fun because there was good food.

That day was also the day that my dear friend M contacted us again. So happy for her.

Today

I was in a bad mood from morning till night. Lunch with Gladys and we saw SH! I feel so bad that kitty had to tolerate my mood swings. Love her. Followed her for her interview and then we had Thai Express at Tiong Bahru Plaza. (privateblog)

I almost broke down today because I have no time to study, I have so many things to do. I actually have four plans on Thursday. This is nonsense. And two tomorrow. Shall nomz on Brands Bird's Nest.

I don't want to talk about Macroeconomics lesson or lunch. So took bus 966 with Khairil and Liting back home. Love them so much because they had motion sickness from the bus ride and I felt so bad.

Kaiyi joined us and we had kway teow at home before heading down to my workplace. Hehehe had fun at my house though. They're so cute because I ran to work since I was late. Then they went missing for about 10 minutes even though I tried looking for them! Then Khai came out of nowhere and approached the shop saying, "Eh Sherina you work here ah!" Omg hahahaha

So sad because I had to work. I wanted to join them. Since they came from Central and the West, I wanted to treat them to ice-cream but they refused. Furthermore they treated me to Gong Cha! ^^

Today

You know it sucks being close to people. It just sucks so bad because when they leave, it feels like they took a part of you with them. It makes you feel so empty.