Met my orientation group for dessert at Creamier. It was actually my first time hanging out with them, pretty nice bunch of people.
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| Royston, ZH, YY, Fel, Zeon, HS, Jacinth, Munhow,Clarence, Daniel, Nigel Christina, Vong |
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| Earl Grey Lavender Mango Passion Fruit (shared w Christina, Clarence and Royston) |
August 16, Friday
Four Seasons Singapore:
- They wished my trainer good luck because she was going to be working alone with me the day after.
- They told me to do stuff and I got reprimanded by my trainer for their mistakes. She just wouldn't stop accusing me of mistakes I didn't do, she wouldn't even listen to my side of the story.
- I've had too many things on my plate recently that I didn't have time to memorise things like American Express entitlements. Got scolded for that. "Where are your notes, sleeping at home?" Okay don't use that level of sarcasm on me, it's so disgraceful
Cried for an hour on the bus, cried for another half an hour when my dad asked how was work.
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| HAHA I know I'm a douche for sending a picture of me crying BUT LOL @ AMIRA'S REPLIES + HER CAT |
Marble Slab:
Gen qq made waffles with ice-cream for me ♡
Note: My mom said that I shouldn't have worked at Four Seasons. I told her that she was the one who told me to join it and she said that I was being rude. In fact, she was the only one who told me to choose FS over my airport job. I only joined it because I couldn't stand having her look down on me anymore. Raiyan has always been up there and I'm so sick of the judgmental aura she gives off. So maybe if I did something she told me to, she would have some support in what I do.
I was wrong in trying to live up to her expectations. She didn't even care that her daughter was suffering when she took up the job. This was the main reason why I cried but I told others otherwise.
August 17, Saturday
Four Seasons: Not bad but my eyes were so sore.
Dinner with the family for Raiyan's birthday at Earle Swensen's; the standard dropped like mad
August 18, Sunday
I took in all their crap but inside I was like, "You don't know that it's my last day here." AND THEN FREEDOM!!!!!!!!1
OH YEA SUSHI TEI WITH MUMKINS
August 19, Monday
Met this new guy called Junjie who's YY's friend and he was telling me how he hates food. HOW CAN ANYONE HATE FOOD OMG
Anyway, met Limin after school for dinner at Holland Village. Decided to have Mexican food at El Patio. We ordered a plate of nachos while waiting for our main dishes to come. Turns out that the staff were waiting for us to finish our nachos before serving us our food. So we were too full and had to takeaway our food. Sent out my resignation text.
Went to Craft for dessert.
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| Peanut butter molten lava cake (too sweet for my liking) |
August 20, Tuesday
Went to the gym in school and then to Ngee Ann Poly for lunch. Tried to study at home but Aunty Lilian was still taking up my room so I had to study in the hall, which is so distracting?!
Trix asked what I was doing. I told her that I was home, doing nothing. So she told me to go down to the slab and that zq and hb were there too. I clearly panicked because I couldn't just think of an excuse after telling her that I was being a sloth at home. So I went down, he kept looking my way but I made sure that I was always busy talking to someone. But it's not like I hate him or anything so I looked at him and bid goodbye before I left with Jeremie.
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| Trixilea |
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| Syaza | Jeremie |
August 21, Wednesday
Worked at the airport, tried to study after that but my flu was messing up my mind. Thank goodness Mama Tan made some herbal soup.
August 22, Thursday
Studied at the slab. Aww Jeremie bought sushi for me ^^ shared roast chicken with them!
Met the orientation group at Zouk for Finale Night. (drafted)
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| Jacinth, Munhow, Zeon, Clarence YY, Felicia, ZH |
August, 23, Friday
The whole thing ended at 3am. Don't know if that was worse or my first time was. I guess the company just wasn't to my liking.
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| WJ, SK, Christina |
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| Zeon, Christina, Clarence, Claire, HS |
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| AIYA LAZY LA |
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| ditto |
Slept at 5am and woke up 4 hours later for my driving lesson. And then to Lavender for lunch with a few of my favourite people.
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| Prawn Caesar Salad |
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| Blinis with cream sauce & smoked salmon |
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| Trio Sausage Platter |
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| Jeremie | Gen |
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| Gen's really cool way of categorising her applications |
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| Gen |
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| Iris | Jeremie |
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| my fat friend |
I was so thankful that my evening plans were cancelled if not I would have gone crazy and probably faint from exhaustion.
August 24, Saturday
Worked at the airport, met ct. We actually walked under the hot sun, all the way to Five & Dime! AND APPARENTLY THEY HAD LUNCH HOURS AND WE WERE TOO LATE. I saw Leon but he didn't remember me.
So we had lunch at Wild Honey. I think Jeremie knew that I was quite upset judging from my reply on Instagram. Like I didn't complain about the food what. I've experienced food of inferior quality and sky-high prices. Wild Honey was really not bad, the quality was good (like omg the poached eggs were perfect) and even ct liked hers.
STEPPED INTO PANDORA FOR THE FIRST TIME. After muttering "ugly" and quickly walking past the store a month back hahahaha. This crazy girl (not me) spent $381 bravo!!!! But it's not for us; we both have a mutual dislike for the brand.
Smoothie King for my matcha smoothie and her passion fruit is finally out, which is really nice. Going to have that next time!
Met Gen K. after:
August 25, Sunday
Met kitty and I was so broke so we decided to have lunch at McDonald's. Which I got conned because I only had one patty in my Double Cheeseburger :< sob sob
Walked around and caught The Internship! Hahahahaha it's damn funny.
Dinnur at Eighteen Chefs and did more walking. Sadly, we spent the most amount of time in Popular raving over pretty stationary.
August 26, Monday
Had dinner with Limin after school again. Presented her with a ticket to The Killers concert. Since she's leaving for a year and I wouldn't be able to celebrate her 18th birthday with her.
August 27 Tuesday
Went to NP to have lunch with YY! Talked about our stories from Finale Night hehehe. We tried to study but it was definitely unproductive.
I spent quite some time in the library trying to source out materials, went down to Tampines to get an Economics book from Amira. Had some counselling session. She bought a fruit tart for me. I feel so touched because every time I'm down, she would always gets stuff for me T-T I guess we are alike in some ways; we aren't comfortable in comforting people. So we resort to getting stuff for them to make them happy. I see where she's coming from so I understand why she got something for me.
A few days back, Gen said that she was worried about my well-being and I had too many things on hand. Until she told me, I realised that she was the first to say that. Like even I didn't care about my well-being. Touched x2. I love them.
Today
I have been pretty down lately (what a surprise). So far, I've only told Amira part of the story.
- Even though I state that I've been studying, sourcing out study materials, I have to say that I have no idea what I'm doing. It's because I don't know where to start that I'm doing everything all at once. The lecturers are way too fast in their teaching that I just can't cope anymore. I'm just writing and writing and writing down what they say but nothing actually gets into my head.
I don't know. I think it's because I did badly for my O level's and I'm more than traumatised to repeat that period of time again. I was cramming everything in at the very last minute. I am so fucking scared to let my parents, more importantly myself down. Like everything went downhill since my O level's; I didn't get into a reputable polytechnic (much less a junior college), after that, I worked my way up and attained a well to do Grade Point Average but it didn't get me into a local university which was what I aimed for.
I AM SO SICK OF MAKING MISTAKES IN MY LIFE. I am so sick of seeing my friends (who were previously worse off in academic areas) making their way through local universities. I worked so hard to try to turn things around but to no avail.
Now I'm trying to work my way up even further but I. don't. even. know. where. to. start. I'm so lost, I've been having 4 hours of sleep because I would end up cleaning my room/munching on food because I've been so stressed out and lost and all I needed was a distraction to keep me from sleeping. I fell sick, my eyebags are getting worse.
- I joined the Student Representative Council (like I'm one of the 55 out of hundreds who got in). I don't even know if I should join it. Besides it taking a toll on my studies, I'm afraid that I would lose myself again with such a group of people. What I'm saying is that I'm scared that I would be just another fraud when I mix with such company.
- Ever since I met SK, something triggered me. Okay wait, I am not in love with him nor do I like him. It just got me thinking: Would I fall for someone just because I'm lonely.
Because I don't want to be just another girl who falls in love so easily just because she has been heartbroken and lonely. I'm glad that G said this: I suppose you still have dignity left in you not to fall for any other guy just because you are lonely.
It's calming to know that when I'm lost, my friends are able to decipher my thoughts for me.
- When I went out for a game of pool awhile back, it didn't just make me think of zq. It got me thinking of Derek as well. He was considered one of my favourite people, someone whom I trust, someone who was there for me no matter how unconvincing it was. I miss him. When I went to Zouk, it triggered my memories of him again. How ct and I made him drunk, how ky got pissed off because he was drunk. Haha good times.
I know I'm not supposed to think of people who have left me but still, I do miss him.
- There's so much more going in my mind but these are few that have been causing such an impact on me.
Sigh I didn't manage to get a chop for my driving lesson :( he tested me on turns for like the whole lesson. I thought that I did pretty well and I could have moved on to the next lesson but I guess not. Like I'm not broke enough booking driving lessons.
- I've been going out with many people these few days but why do I still feel so alone. Not the kind where I need a lover. I just feel, alone; neglected in a sense I guess.
After typing this post, Gen K. sent this to me. I was bloody shocked at how coincidental it was. I stopped reading all these horoscope stuff but I can't deny how similar it is to what I typed previously. She didn't even know about my blog post yet. What even.
Shall jog, go for threading and pass Gen a piece of this blog post.
