I don't know why I placed so much hope into this. More than what I expected I would. More than the limit I set for myself. After all the heartbreaks, I told myself not another. It worked for awhile. Until I started to fall. Deeper and deeper, every day. The insecurities have started setting in.

I feel so... alone.

I don't feel that I'm good for anyone. There's always someone out there who's better. That's why I like to be alone, so that I do not hurt. But being alone, hurts. The numbness and deafening silence kills.

So many mixed signals. I don't know what to do, which route to take. Meeting each other discreetly, denying any form of contact with one another. It feels so restricted. Why do we have to hide. Why did I follow suit. Why did I fall.

Do you say these words to others. Do you act this way to others. Do you treat them the same way as you do to me. Would you make sure they're not sad. Would you be concerned about their health and safety that you would go out of your way to make sure they're alright. Would you keep a lie from them so that they wouldn't have to worry about you.

For the past few days, I have this strange longing of meeting you. But I gave lots of excuses. I had to learn to prioritise. I wouldn't lie to my friends. I wouldn't sacrifice sleep. I won't give my everything to someone again. Not this time.

Normally I'd try to run and I might even want to hide
'Cause I never knew what I wanted 'til I looked into your eyes