24 March, Saturday
Woke up at 6am to prepare for Sharon’s big day. Tea ceremony.

After that, followed Jeremy to the groom (Minh)’s house. He is Vietnamese hence the name. Pronounced as “mean”. Jeremy assigned me with tasks hahaha I am his personal assistant so they call me PA.

Done with groom’s house. Next up was the wedding ceremony at the Botanic Gardens. The sun was so intense and it was so annoying.

Went home to finish up the tasks assigned by my boss while he stayed at the Botanic Gardens to take more shots for the wedding video. Change of dress!

Dinner was quite alright. My hands got tired, from using chopsticks, from the 5th course onwards. There were 13 courses altogether. I cheated because I skipped some. Actually I only genuinely liked the first course which was the roast duck. Omg I love duck. Didn’t have sharks fin soup because I’m against the brutal killing of sharks.

Photobooth!!!! First with Nicholas, Jeremy and Celine. Then one with Raiyan, Nicholas, Jeremy and Celine. Then one with Yong Ren (taller one) and Yong Key (shorter one).

After the dinner and when most of the guests have left, Jeremy and I blasted songs and screamed to Starships and Titanium in his room. His song, my song respectively. Cleaned up, time to KO.

25 March, Sunday
Woke up to send Celine and family off. Hahaha yeah sent them off only to the front gate.

Paddy’s Market with Jeremy, Yeepor and parents. Got my crystal necklace. The person said, “Dolphin. Good. Good people.” Jeremy was freaking laughing all the way!!! Omg hahahaha. When we walked away he pointed to some random thing and said, “Hey get that. It’s for good people. We’re good people.”

Walk walk walk. Saw nice bags and Dr Martens.

Cosy ambience for Italian food ~

OMG THE LEFT ONE IS SUCH A QTPIE!!!!!!! IT'S EARS!!

Went to Westfield but most of the shops were either closed or closing. Come on it was only 6pm!

HAHAHA I should live in Sydney! It's for the OCD people. See how neat that is!

Bondi Beach!!!

Jeremy bought Boost Juice for me again!!! Banana Buzz yumm. We were already freezing and we were dying trying to finish our ice-cold juices.

At the Boost store:
Me: QT dog!
*dog's tail lightly brushes against my leg*
Jeremy: Omg you have to burn your leg!!!

Jeremy: Why didn't you high five them?
Me: Huh who? *turns back and sees this group of Muslims with scarves* -___-
Jeremy: What, if I saw Atheists, I would high five them

Jeremy: Hey there's a nun in the car!
Me: Ooh
Jeremy: Tsk don't stare! She might put a curse on you to be burned in hell!

Sharon came, coffee at a cafe, home.

Drawn by Jeremy

Sent the Audi back with Jeremy and Sharon. No my baby A6! Blasted music and opened the top. Such wannabes.

Then home then supper at a pizzeria. Not that good. Hung out in Jeremy's room.

26 March, Monday
Got up up up with no Jeremy at home :( so out with the parents.

Wagyu burger for lunch. No chips, $16. The shit.

They used this to alert me when my order's ready.

They were singing Skinny Love

Dad bought a varsity jacket for me. 119 bucks homaigosh. I love him. “Koko’s FCUK bermudas and shirt also 119. Fair. So you cannot buy your bag anymore.” :(((( I want bag.

So Jeremy and Sharon had to work for their allowance since they were twelve years old or something. Then when I told him my dad pays for our holiday trips he got a shock and said, “Your dad throws money like, here I don’t need this money. You guys have some.” Hahahaha what.

Break with Boost Juice.

Watermelon Crush

Hah Fitzgerald actually reminded me of Gladys

Yong Ren and Yong Key’s family came down for dinner.

27 March, Tuesday
Lambshank for lunch. Uncle who’s a chef said it’s good so he brought us there. But it was really salty.

Napped for 20 minutes before taking the bus with dad to Darling Harbour. Dad left when Chee Kin arrived. Apparently Raiyan was there too. With his friends. (CK is Jeremy. I just use both names. I don't know why.)

Haha Lindt date with Chee Kin. He was texting and he doesn’t usually do that when I’m around. I didn’t even ask but he told me that he was going out with a girl that weekend and he was texting her. Oh ok.

The woman at Lindt was so cute and nice. Was telling Jeremy (my apologies for using both his English and Chinese name) that I couldn’t take her seriously because she was wearing bunny ears. She even asked how were our days. PLURAL HENCE ASKING BOTH OF US.

Me: What did she ask?
CK: She asked how was your day. Is that why you ignored her?!
Me: I wasn't sure what she asked!!! Why didn't you answer her then?!?!
CK: She only asked you!
Me: I wasn’t sure what she said or asked so I was waiting for you to answer!”

Same thing happened when we tried entering the casino.

Me: I don’t have an ID with me.
Guy: You can’t get in aye. (What I heard)
Me: Sorry I don’t have an ID.
Guy: Sorry what’s your age? (What he actually asked)
Me: Oh 19!

Me: Why didn’t you help me! I didn’t know he asked for my age!
Jeremy: What, I should tell him you’re 19? That would make things more unbelievable!
Me: Well sorry I can’t understand Ozzie accent!!!!!
Jeremy: He didn't even have an Ozzie accent!

Interesting, I just realized how often we argue.

Oh we had this at Lindt. I had Iced Chocolate, Jeremy had Hot Chocolate and we both shared a mousse cake. His treat ^^ Jeremy got Lindt chocolates for us :) And Lindt bunnies for his workmates! Hahaha we got a free Lindt pail!

After that we went to The Star for the casino but I don’t look 18 so whatever. I was so embarrassed. Went to Adriano Zumbo’s pastry shop there too. I saw this guy in a camel coloured shirt and the other staff were wearing black. Could it be Zumbo. Can’t be him. He seems fatter.

Jeremy: Is that.
Me: I think so. I am freaking out too much. If I talk, I might end up screaming.

I collected my macaroons from one of the staffs and ran out of the store. Freaked out outside the shop. Jeremy got his autograph for me. Freaked out somemore. Couldn’t stop smiling. Regretted not taking a picture with Zumbo because I was all high and too shy!!! Hehehe! :(

Home. Last night hanging out in Jeremy’s room. Last time seeing him for a long while. Omg he’s such a dear. He wrote a list of things to do. So I wrote one for him: Give Sherina my G-Shock watch.

When I came back from the toilet he was like, “Here. I’ll get it back when I’m in Singapore.” Wuv him ^-^

28 March, Wednesday
Slept at 2am and woke up at 9am. Wanted to shoot myself because I was so tired. And the nostalgia of not seeing Jeremy in his room :( because he has work.

Breakfast first!

Jeremy wanted to get this for me :")
But I can't eat such cute stuff -_-

Was sad and tired but had to go shopping with parents and Yeepor. Yeepor’s my grandaunt and she was rushing me. Are you my dad, no. Are you my mom, no. You have no right to nag at me.

Bought Ben Sherman shirt and MnM almonds for Cheekin. I should be his girlfriend. I know stuff that he likes. Like mousse cake being his favourite.

Lunch

Peanut Butter (brown)
Cookies and Cream (blue)
SO SO SO SO SO GOOD!!!

What I see every time I look out of the window :(
Miss this

The sticky notes I left on J's desk :")

Snuck this in at the airport since J told me it's a MUST TRY

Cried like some faggot when I was on the plane. Really didn’t want it to ascend from the ground.

17 March, Monday

Hahaha I thought that my flight was at 7pm but it was actually at 7am. I even planned to visit kitty at work and get a manicure and shop.

Breakfast at Coffee Club.

7am flight and the flight felt so long because I was sick and wanted some sleep but this baby kept crying on the plane. Food wasn’t good. No Limin to play Tetris with, people on my mind. Watched Jack and Jill and In Time. So frustrated because they cut everything off when I was watching the ending of In Time.

Red eyes for sick girl

BIRDY IS SO GOOD

I always order tomato juice on the plane

Otw ~

OHAI SYDNEY!!!

Aunt and Uncle fetched us. Jeremy was home and Uncle cooked hor fun for dinner. He’s a chef hehe omnomnom.

The best thing on Earth ~

Raiyan knocked out. Jeremy and I went out for a car ride. Went to Coles to buy plums, Snickers flavoured Pods, almond coated MnMs and juices. After that we went to Krispy Kreme. Oh so good when I ate the original one fresh and warm.

Left and went to an empty carpark. It was around 11pm then. So it was my virgin drive. He said I was pretty good for my first time. Time to take up driving lessons.

18 March, Sunday
Jeremy woke me and Raiyan up. Hehehehe like our big brother. Off to Fish Market with Raiyan, mom, See Chim (aunt) and Jeremy who drove us. Had raw oysters, sashimi, raw seaweed and seafood platter which consisted of grilled items (fish, squid, octopus, baked oyster, scallops and chips). They made me eat most of the raw oyster and sashimi. I felt so sick. Bought fishes for the barbecue next weekend.

Walked around town. Boring because everything was expensive. Jeremy bought Boost juice for me ^^ Banana Buzz yum yumsz!!! Happykeed!!! Shopped for groceries, blanked out in the car, got scolded by Uncle for not helping out to prepare for dinner. But I washed everything by myself. No gratitude or help was given.

Poker with Sharon, Jeremy and Raiyan at the dinner table after. Embarrassed myself at the start of the game because I forgot how to play. But at the end of the night, I cleared the whole table, won all the chips. With this measly pair of twos. Probably the lowest combination ever.

Downloaded wedding songs till 1am with Jeremy.

I miss this room.

19 March, Monday
Got scolded again by uncle because Raiyan and I woke up at 1pm. So I ate kebab in the room because I was scared. Went out with mom, Raiyan and Jeremy. On the way to the Vietnamese restaurant, I SAW THIS.

Like what the shit. I have the recipe book at home! Oh my cats. I baked a couple of cupcakes from the book. Bought these; 2 seasonal, Black Velvet, Strawberries and White Chocolate.

Favourite watch ever. Couldn't stop staring at it on Jeremy's wrist so I stole it hehehehe

Had Pho for lunch. Then I thought we’d be on our way to our next destination. I was wrong because Jeremy stopped for Booze because I previously said that I wanted it. Hehehe so shocked and happy with my banana buzz.

Took a really long time to find Adriano Zumbo's pastry shop at Manly because the sign was this small and high. It’s as small as a road sign!

We actually walked rounds around that store when it was actually straight ahead from where Jeremy parked the car. The shop was rather small. He paid for my macaroons. 30 dollars. Feel so bad, love him.

Went to Manly Beach

Act cool brah

Home for dinner then talked to Jeremy until 5am.

20 March, Tuesday
Stayed at home all day.

Sharon's room

Jeremy gave me his box of mallow bunnies <3 love="" p="" such="">

21 March, Wednesday
Had Thai food for lunch with Jeremy, mom and Raiyan. Boost juice too!!! Went to QBD and Westfield shopping malls. Had ice-cream! Jeremy's treat again ^^ Mine was Cookies and Cream! Jeremy's was Black Sesame ugh it's so black.

Via Del Corso

Walked along Darling Harbour. Slacked at Starbucks. Went to Lindt but it was closed because Jeremy saw the time wrongly. He can't read analogue watches too. Same here.

22 March, Thursday
Aunty Kucher arrived with her kids, Celine and Nicholas. Kebab for dinner with Jeremy while the rest had Pho

23 March, Friday
Took a walk as I felt really lonely in the house.

Cute Aussie guy and his dog

I push people away before there is a chance for any progress because I have this mindset that they will all eventually leave. Might as well give them a chance to leave now. If it progresses any further, so will the pain. So technically I’m helping myself.

Going on a holiday is only a temporary break. It doesn’t put a stop to the intricacy of life because you have to go back and face the harsh reality of things. Though we’d rather not. Migration, however, is a whole different story. The pain will definitely be there but only temporarily. By the time you return, everything would have been forgotten. The friendship, the feelings.

The sudden breeze in the cool Autumn air left me with a tinge of numbness. Exactly how I felt inside. Numb and wary.

Split me like a Gemini

GOT MY HERSCHEL BACKPACK, AVIATORS AND IGGY'S G-SHOCK WATCH AND I'M OFF!

Forgot who got the Thailand shirt for me but I love these shirts. Hehehe collecting them all! I've got Germany, Paris, London, Tokyo, Japan, Bali and Thailand wheee ~~~ \._.\ ~~~

xxx

How can you expect me not to care. To sound out everything I see or hear. How can you expect me not to feel insecure about myself. How can you expect me to act as though nothing affects me. As though nothing happened. Most importantly, how can you expect me not to feel like a rebound. I'm still glad yet surprised that none of my friends have mentioned him to me. I don't wish to be reminded of him. Though I do need to tell someone or else I'd feel bottled up. xxx the rebound

And I don’t get waves of missing you anymore, they’re more like tsunami tides.

My eyes are sore from the excretion of tears from my tear ducts. It was because of the removal of blackheads during my facial just this morning. But the after effects of crying sucks. The dryness makes things worse. The fact that it feels as though I cried over something that were affected by my emotions, causes me to feel and think negatively now.

You speak to her so freely and you're so distant towards me. Just fuck it. I will never be a priority to any being on Earth. There's always a superior present. I told you about my holiday to Sydney and you weren't even affected by my absence. Worse still, you didn't even bother to ask me where I was. A normal response when someone mentions an overseas trip is to know the destination but there was so sign of interest from you. No "Long time never see you." or the cute ways you try to tell people that you miss them.

Of course when you like someone for that long, that feeling will stay on with you until some miracle happens to rid of it. You had me like a fool. Maybe it was easier to give up on you not only because of the rebound. But because I knew we'd never progress to anything more than friends. You don't even give a shit about me no matter how much I care and prioritise you. ('care' and 'prioritise' aren't even in past tense!) I miss you like mad and I can't even tell you now. I am so scared that the sentiment wouldn't be returned.

---

At times like this, I miss the warmth of your palm against my face. To know that someone is there. I'm so sorry for being unhappy here. I have always been so sad in my home country. The urge to leave this country is alarmingly overwhelming. I'm so lonely here and my thoughts, involving a number of people, are suffocating me. "Why isn't he replying me." "I listened to your problems. Did you even care to ask about mine?" "I want you to notice me." "I've been here from the start and you were never grateful for that. Instead you choose to think that other people are better at dealing with your messed up life."

I have been staying up until 4am because of my thoughts. Sitting down on my bedroom floor, staring into space. And when I think of something I regret or something that hurts me, my body twitches and being annoyed, I just mess up my hair whilst grumbling.

Sometimes I really feel like I'm not supposed to be born here. My friends laugh at me for pronouncing words like 'karaoke' correctly and proceed on to pronouncing it the way other people do, which is obviously wrong. Why can't people here just stop letting themselves be led by the majority and start doing things the right way.

London has musicals and the people are so nice. People in Sydney are nice too but probably too nice with the amount of 'thanks you's and 'sorry's I had to say. Not to mention having a small chat with almost every stranger I meet. Not that I am complaining. I felt like I belonged when I was in those two places.